He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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