how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
