You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm jealous of your bromance
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My vagina is officially offended.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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