I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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