I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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