I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
