I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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