All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
