butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
