I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
