Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
