I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
