Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize