is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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