Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got inside last night via doggy door
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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