Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize