Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize