I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
