he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
