I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
