I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
