Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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