I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
