biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
