At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
