Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
