I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize