There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
