nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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