some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
