idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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