It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize