i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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