what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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