dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.