Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?