he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.