I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.