Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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