No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
two words...techno handjob
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
