Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
wow bdsm is so cute
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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