you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
