Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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