So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
