she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
