This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bring me that man meat
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
