it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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