sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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