like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize