ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
