just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
