OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
