pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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